August 2011
1 post
June 2011
1 post
March 2009
2 posts
WatchJeff is amaZING.
February 2009
7 posts
Jeff Cosgrave has been doing a bunch of hysterical...
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
December 2008
3 posts
1 tag
November 2008
3 posts
Obama wins: Great day for Americans. →
I wrote this piece for the Sacramento State newspaper, the State Hornet. This is really close to my heart. Read it.
October 2008
6 posts
New law out of touch with culture
Technology consumes us, or better yet, we can’t stop consuming it. It isn’t merely one facet of our lives that it affects; it’s everything. We pay bills, register for school and stay up to date on news via the Internet. We shop online, we e-mail, we chat and for a while now, we have been doing it all on our cell phones. It seems that we are a melting pot of what it once was to...
WatchMaybe I’ll have a bebe one day….
WatchThis is lovely.
WatchLittle Bill O’Reilly.
Regarding Pavement.
The post below is a work in progress. Followers, don’t read. I’m only posting so I have access to write from other computers.
Thanks. Bean.
Alec Baldwin Assumes I'm a Coffee Drinker, and I...
THIS IS A GOOD STORY.
giancarlofiorentini:
Today, Alec Baldwin asked me for some very important advice. What kind of advice could I possibly impart on Alec Baldwin? Some very important advice: where to get a good cup of coffee.
It was around 6pm and I was walking home from work. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but like a cat, I suddenly sensed a Baldwin in the area. Being near a Baldwin is...
September 2008
4 posts
“Like a mechanic who forgets to wipe his hands on a shop rag and then goes home,...”
– Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (via zoya)
after a terrible first day of school, it really...
Summer is really over…
August 2008
1 post
Aziz's Text Back and Forth with Obama at 3AM Last...
Barack: I’ve chosen Senator Joe Biden to be our VP nominee. Watch the first Obama-Biden rally live at 3pm ET on www.BarackObama.com. Spread the world!
Aziz: Hey man, that’s great. I’m actually asleep, I’ll catch ya tomorrow.
Barack: No man, we gotta party! Come out!
Aziz: That’s all good, I’ll party up tomorrow.
Barack: Quit being a bitch, come out!!!!
Aziz: I’m good man.
Barack: Biden...
July 2008
2 posts
Taco Report 07.14.08
IN HONOR OF MY BIRTHDAY COUPLED WITH MY LOVE FOR A FISH TACO—-
azizisbored:
Part of LA Food Week on Aziz is Bored
I’ve been living in LA for a while now and tried many places. I want to write about a few of them.
First off, a report on tacos. These are my favorite places, if there are any must try spots, please let me know in the comments, particularly if they involve outstanding...
June 2008
2 posts
WatchChromeo on Kimmell (via brooklynvegan)
this song is funny only if in yer iTunes you...
May 2008
4 posts
azizisbored: Aniz played this most hilarious...
why jake and amir are amazing.
this is a reference to the article i wrote about jake and amir for california state university, sacramento newspaper. jakehurwitz: If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? AB: Penguin. Next. JH: She asked you why. AB: Because they can fly. JH: No they can’t. AB: Oh. That’s an excerpt from an interview Amir and I did for The California State University Newspaper. You can check...
April 2008
15 posts
mikhail doesn't watch PBS.
Mikhail:
it reminds me of the chris farley show on SNL
b r o o k l y n B: (1:28)
well i think it's a peg on charlie rose though
Mikhail: (1:36)
yeah i see that
but it's his questions that remind me of the old snl skit
b r o o k l y n B:
did you have to google charlie rose to see what it was?
Mikhail:
no
b r o o k l y n B:
you took an awful long time to reply.
almost the same amount of time it would take to look up charlie rose on the you tubes.
i'm just sayin.
Mikhail:
i'll have you know Jamie Kennedy compared me to Charlie Rose when I interviewed him
b r o o k l y n B:
i'm pretty sure that's an insult
goodnight
Watchbecause i am a hopeless romantic… i find this absolutely fantastic. an adorable guy in new york saw a girl on a subway train and didn’t have the guts to talk to her… and he felt something so magnetic that he made a website (http://nygirlofmydreams.com) devoted to finding her! AND HE DID FIND HER! lately i’ve been thinking a lot about connections - people we meet every day...
guess what...
Mikhail:
hey guess what I bought!
b r o o k l y n B:
pocket pussy
Mikhail:
already have 3
so no
b r o o k l y n B:
gross
well what'd u buy then
Mikhail:
it's electronic
b r o o k l y n B:
dildo
Mikhail:
gross no
b r o o k l y n B:
fuck
Mikhail:
a short italian man is there mascot
b r o o k l y n B:
i am getting annoyed and impatient
just tell me
Mikhail:
haha
right
i got a Wii
b r o o k l y n B:
oh i don't care about that
Mikhail:
well i do
so i'm excited
i'm a child remember
b r o o k l y n B:
so it IS a pocket pussy?
no way, stalker.
b r o o k l y n B:
this whole jake and amir obsession is getting out of control. i am thinking about getting the t shirt.
and applying at college humor just so i can meet them.
and moving to new york in hopes of becoming their friends.
generally, are people put off by stalkers?
or is it something that can turn into a lasting relationship?
gerontologist:
um.
MGMT: kids. i am obsessed. as in REPEAT on...
oh, miley.
there are always the most interesting ads on myspace. today a question asked for my answer: “are you hotter than miley cyrus?” i had just gotten home from babysitting a five-year-old obsessed with her when i realized that i’m not as hot as cyrus. who was born in 1992. if guys want to fuck a girl born in 1992, that makes me real old. like old as S. and i’m only 21. ...
apparently everyone knows...
faggot: oh, you don't have to take me.
b r o o k l y n B: it's no biggie.
faggot: really if you want to take someone else that's cool
b r o o k l y n B: well, now that you say that, i do want to take jake or amir-
preferably jake.
seriously do you think he has a gf?
faggot: probably not,
i hear he's gay
b r o o k l y n B: jake isn't gay.
fuck. i am being defensive like a 12 year old.
i feel like i'm talking about the jonas brothers-
who i also would like to have inseminate me
faggot: one of them actually is gay.
b r o o k l y n B: what? oh no. is it amir?
faggot: haha. no i meant one of the jonas bros.
b r o o k l y n B: oh thank god. i thought you may have meant jake.
i figured...
i am a huge fan of the onion. they always provide the most up to date and hysterical fake news. they were doin’ it way before jon stewart (although stewart does a more proficient and more popular job). today, the onion posted this in their online store. those of you that may know i sport this little gem on my wrist: and coming from an expert, i can verify this statement. owls ARE...
MYSPACE LATINO
there is a myspace LATINO now. there better also be a wannabe-jew chubby girl one coming, too or i’m gonna be pissed.
poetry.
i think poetry is pretty faggoty, but when assigned it for creative writing class, i do my best. here goes it: ——————————————————————————————— tiny monsters tiny monsters crawl up this appendage tickling every...
every day is an adventure.
when individuals go to a job interview or some sort of agency seeking employment, the usual norm is to look your best. wear business attire. button all the buttons on that patrick bateman oxford. fuck, clip on that tie if you can’t figure out how to tie an old school one. if this is really the case, then why is the UNemployment office, an office where desperate people are trying to get...
this is cat power’s (chan marshall) cover of...
Watchi am obsessed with jakeandamir.com. i’ve gone through the process of watching every one of their videos and i think they are hysterical. sometimes hit or miss. but overall genius. make sure to check these boys out. www.jakeandamir.com
you’ve knocked the over-thinker off her feet.
this past weekend, i ventured out of my daily routine in honor of spring break. i drove all the way to sunny los angeles to visit jeffrey. i got into town friday just in time for dinner and drinks. takin’ it easy was necessary. saturday night we were plannin to party hard. like keanu reeves style. that evening was quite memorable- for me anyway. dinner was mexico city. delicious. drinks at...