b r o o k l y n BRIDGET

mikhail doesn't watch PBS.

Mikhail:
it reminds me of the chris farley show on SNL
b r o o k l y n B: (1:28)
well i think it's a peg on charlie rose though
Mikhail: (1:36)
yeah i see that
but it's his questions that remind me of the old snl skit
b r o o k l y n B:
did you have to google charlie rose to see what it was?
Mikhail:
no
b r o o k l y n B:
you took an awful long time to reply.
almost the same amount of time it would take to look up charlie rose on the you tubes.
i'm just sayin.
Mikhail:
i'll have you know Jamie Kennedy compared me to Charlie Rose when I interviewed him
b r o o k l y n B:
i'm pretty sure that's an insult
goodnight

guess what...

Mikhail:
hey guess what I bought!
b r o o k l y n B:
pocket pussy
Mikhail:
already have 3
so no
b r o o k l y n B:
gross
well what'd u buy then
Mikhail:
it's electronic
b r o o k l y n B:
dildo
Mikhail:
gross no
b r o o k l y n B:
fuck
Mikhail:
a short italian man is there mascot
b r o o k l y n B:
i am getting annoyed and impatient
just tell me
Mikhail:
haha
right
i got a Wii
b r o o k l y n B:
oh i don't care about that
Mikhail:
well i do
so i'm excited
i'm a child remember
b r o o k l y n B:
so it IS a pocket pussy?

no way, stalker.

b r o o k l y n B:
this whole jake and amir obsession is getting out of control. i am thinking about getting the t shirt.
and applying at college humor just so i can meet them.
and moving to new york in hopes of becoming their friends.
generally, are people put off by stalkers?
or is it something that can turn into a lasting relationship?
gerontologist:
um.

Listen

oh, miley.

there are always the most interesting ads on myspace. today a question asked for my answer:...

apparently everyone knows...

faggot: oh, you don't have to take me.
b r o o k l y n B: it's no biggie.
faggot: really if you want to take someone else that's cool
b r o o k l y n B: well, now that you say that, i do want to take jake or amir-
preferably jake.
seriously do you think he has a gf?
faggot: probably not,
i hear he's gay
b r o o k l y n B: jake isn't gay.
fuck. i am being defensive like a 12 year old.
i feel like i'm talking about the jonas brothers-
who i also would like to have inseminate me
faggot: one of them actually is gay.
b r o o k l y n B: what? oh no. is it amir?
faggot: haha. no i meant one of the jonas bros.
b r o o k l y n B: oh thank god. i thought you may have meant jake.

i figured...

i am a huge fan of the onion. they always provide the most up to date and hysterical fake news....

MYSPACE LATINO

there is a myspace LATINO now. there better also be a wannabe-jew chubby girl one coming, too or...

poetry.

i think poetry is pretty faggoty, but when assigned it for creative writing class, i do my best. ...

every day is an adventure.

when individuals go to a job interview or some sort of agency seeking employment, the usual norm is...

Listen

you’ve knocked the over-thinker off her...

this past weekend, i ventured out of my daily routine in honor of spring break. i drove all the way...

blurred focus.